Make your traditions checklist

Take a look at this list of traditions. You and your partner should each place a checkmark next to any traditions that you value, and add additional traditions that resonate. Have a conversation about each item that either of you checked. Share with each other why it’s meaningful for you, and take some notes to refer to later. You may also want to share this list and have a conversation with family members and friends who will be involved.

  • Venue (e.g. place of worship, outdoors, somewhere else meaningful to you)
  • Clothing and appearance (e.g. color of your clothing, level of formality, mehendi)
  • Having a wedding party
  • Honoring your parents and/or other relatives/ancestors (such as being walked down the aisle by a parent or other family member or reserving a dance at the reception)
  • Not seeing each other until the ceremony
  • Elements of a ceremony: religious spaces, blessings, candles/fire, music
  • Exchange of rings
  • Religious or cultural traditions: jumping the broom, throwing bouquets, tisch and bedeken
  • Traditional music and traditional dances
  • Having formal photos taken
  • Hearing friends or family give toasts
  • Receiving gifts
  • Giving gifts to key players, or giving out favors
  • One or both partners changing their name
  • Being introduced as “husband and wife” or “partners in life”
  • Celebrations before or after the wedding, such as showers and engagement parties (though you may not be able to rein in others who want to surprise you!)