If you're reading this, we assume you or someone you love has gotten engaged and is planning a wedding. 

Weddings are joyous occasions. They often boast killer soundtracks, gorgeous flowers, exuberant dancing, and sweet treats. Sometimes there's raucous booze-fueled laughter, or teary-eyed storytelling. And there are always heartfelt declarations of lifelong commitment. What's not to love?

Apparently, plenty.

The Dark Side of Wedding Planning

We asked over 100 people who are planning a wedding or who recently had one about the wedding planning process. Even though the married people ultimately loved their weddings, and the engaged folks had their eyes on the prize, there were no shortage of anecdotes and complaints about how challenging they are to plan.

Here are some of the difficulties people shared with us:

“Managing expectations between my parents, my in-laws, my partner, and myself. There was lots of crying.

“Trying to decide what aspects of the wedding are actually important to us, without getting sucked into doing things just because everyone else does them (or because the wedding industrial complex says we need to).”

“The main stressful part was communicating with my partner and vice versa. This event has really taught me a lot about doing something as a team where feelings get hurt, nagging happens and compromises are made.”

“I find it stressful to get the little things done - like getting everyone's addresses/email addresses. Small tasks like that take up way more time than I thought they would.”

“I think one of the hardest things about planning our wedding is coordinating with all the different companies. We aren't getting married at a venue so we are booking all of the different vendors.”


Introducing Scrum

The truth is, even though weddings are a blast, wedding planning can be really challenging. We know this from personal experience. We each planned our own wedding in the past few years, and felt some of the same challenges our survey respondents mentioned.

But we've got an ace up our sleeves. That ace is something we've borrowed—well, shamelessly stolen—from the world of software development, of all places. It's called Scrum, and it will change the way you plan your wedding.

When we talk about Scrum in this guide, we're talking about the highly successful methodology used to transform struggling software teams into high-functioning, well-oiled machines that deliver amazing products on time and under budget.

Now, read that sentence again, but replace "struggling software teams" with "couples who are madly in love but challenged by the stresses of wedding planning." Then, replace "amazing products" with "memorable weddings that you, your friends, and family will talk about fondly for decades."

Sounds pretty good, right?


Why Scrum Works

You might be wondering how exactly Scrum helps the wedding planning process. Here are just a few of the ways that Scrum can change how you approach the lead-up to this huge occasion:

  • Scrum prioritizes communication. By far the most frequent challenges our survey respondents mentioned were the ways that wedding planning strained their relationships with their partners and families. One bride even lost a good friendship due to the “drama” of wedding planning. To that we say: Never again! The Scrum roles, rituals, and artifacts are all designed to ease communication during the wedding planning process.

  • Scrum is iterative. Weddings, like software, are complex projects whose requirements change over time. Rather than planning out every detail in advance, Scrum practitioners complete work in short cycles, stopping frequently to re-evaluate, learn, and change course if needed. This allows for the best results—in software and in weddings—with the least stress.

  • Scrum helps you make good decisions. Whether it’s deciding on a venue, trimming the guest list, or figuring out creative ways to stay within your budget, Scrum facilitates good decision-making. The roles make it clear who’s responsible for deciding what, the rituals provide the occasion for decision-making, and the artifacts allow you to collect information to inform your decisions.


We've been there! We've felt the pain described by our survey respondents above.

That's why we created Scrum Your Wedding, and why we want to help you apply the roles, rituals, and artifacts to your wedding planning process.

We can't wait to help you create wonderful memories, not only of your wedding itself, but of the entire process leading up to it.


Hannah and Julia